What’s your family’s purpose?

Is your family moving in the same direction? Here’s one way to make sure!

Purpose noun: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists

Purpose gives you motivation, a sense of meaning, and a mission.

A quick Google search will show you how important it is for individuals, for teams, and in the workplace. It’s just as important for your family to have a purpose too.

When you’re falling in love and dreaming of a future together, you spend hours pouring your dreams into conversations and building a vision for your shared life. Those conversations, whether intentional or not, are laying out your purpose.

Writing your family purpose is one way to make sure that you’re still moving through life in the same direction.

We didn’t write our family purpose until we’d already been married for 9 years. Nothing was wrong with our marriage, but it sometimes felt like we barely had time to plan our week let alone share our hopes and plans for the future. We were drifting away from that shared vision for our life together because we were caught up slogging through the day-to-day and navigating competing priorities that pull at our time, energy, and attention.

We had never heard of a family purpose statement, but when we read Becoming and Belonging by Mark and Lisa Scandrette, we saw how valuable it would be.

You should know

A purpose statement is not

• a mission statement, that focuses on what you do today

or

• a vision statement, that focuses on what you want to be in the future.

A purpose statement speaks to the shared values that inform your decisions. It’s your “why.”

Your purpose statement should be…

• Simple. Ours doesn’t cover everything that’s important to us, and it doesn’t have to. It hits the major themes that matter to us.
• Shared. Only the things that truly matter to both of you should be included in your family purpose statement. It’s great and healthy to have independent values, but they shouldn’t be forced into your family purpose statement. This isn’t about you as individuals, it’s about your family as a whole.
• Meaningful. Your purpose statement is the foundation for the habits you build, the choices you make, and ways that you decide to invest your time and energy.

Your family purpose can (and should!) be shaped around what’s most important to you.

Our family purpose is crafted around scripture because we follow Jesus. Here’s what we came up with for us:

Work hard.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord… Col 3:23

Play hard.

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven… a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance. Ecc. 3:1,4

Demonstrate hospitality.

Rather… be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. Titus 1:8

Engage with our community.

Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your souls and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matt 22:37-39

We revisit our purpose statement from time to time. We’ve found that it helps us make decisions for how we spend our time, energy, and money in a way that keeps us moving forward together as a family. We hope you find it valuable too!

Conversation starters

1. What matters most to us?
2. What do we love about our life together?
3. What do we want others to experience when they’re with us?